Friday, February 25, 2011

So, I'm In Hospital...

Hello, all.  It's your old Building And Loan pal Spike here.  I thought I should probably give you a brief explanation as to why the show is going on a rather unexpected hiatus for a few weeks.  It's because I'm in hospital for open heart surgery.  Yes.  It's true... I *do* have one.

Details?  You want details now?  tchoh!  Well, here's the deal.  Your heart has valves - those are the bits that regulate the flow of blood in and out.  One of my valves is faulty and needs to be replaced before it causes some major damage.  What's happening is that the root of this valve, which should be water tight (or blood tight, I suppose) is leaking all over the place.  It's been diagnosed as "severe aortic regurgitation"; the blood that the valve should be transporting in and out of the inside of my heart is leaking it into other areas that will cause major damage, including into another valve.  From there it spreads to the lungs and then... woowoowoowoo bloop bloop.  Gave Over.

This isn't my first rodeo, I've had two of these surgeries before.  First in 1981 (yes, kids - I'm THAT OLD) to correct what appears to have been a random birth defect, and the second time, in 1991, to replace the first valve I had since grown out of.  Both times I had a pig's valve installed, this go around it's a prosthetic, which will last forever.  You want to know something *really* bizarre?  For the first time in thirty years, there won't be a part of a pig keeping me alive.  Weird thought, that.

Naturally, I'll be recovering for a while, but the minute I feel I can laugh again without it hurting, Paul and I will be making more shows together.  Not laughing isn't an option when I sit down with Paul, plus we've been stockpiling material for Seven From The Left, with at least two LPs that look like they'll be too good to miss.  The bad news is that because I will have to be taking blood thinners for the rest of my life, there's a pretty big chance I'll have to become - gulp - sober.  Like, forever.  A frightening prospect for a Scotsman, but at least I got to taste heaven.

I wanted to thank all of you who have sent kind messages to me over the past few days, it really means a lot.  As soon as I'm awake and alert and they let me have my phone or lappy back, I'll fill you in on the details.  So as I sit here, on open heart surgery eve, please remember that this isn't goodbye.  Not by a long shot.  It's more like, 'go and listen to the christmas special because i didn't put all that bloody hard work into it to have it ignored by the likes of you'.

Love ya.  Mean it.

S. =)

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Sunday, February 20, 2011

The Challengers - Where Are They Now?

This week, in the first edition of Seven From The Left, you heard Paul and I take on the early 70s musical stylings of this gang of alwa'ae-dae-weels; southern gospel group The Challengers, in what appears to be their only outing on vinyl. Or any format, come to think of it.

There's only only factoid we're sure of, and that is that God loves them (so long as he doesn't have to listen to their music). Other than that, their shadowy present is cloaked in mystery... so, we need your help.

No, no. Put down that Google. Believe me, our crack team of researchers have already scoured the frames, skinkels and hoptopplet-plates of all seven of the known internets for information, but updates on recent activity from any of The Challengers remains elusive. And so, dear readers, the ball is in your court.

Take a good look at the gang of eight and let us know where YOU think they are today. What have they been up to? Did they stay in the church? Did they split up and form two rival factions of Challengers tribute bands? Did one, or more, of them become a serial killer who sang "oh praise him naaaoowwwww" as he merrily dismembered his screaming victims?

Let us know below!

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Friday, February 18, 2011

#402 - Seven From The Left: "The Challengers Enter A New Dawn"

 

Download the whole episode by clicking/right-clicking here.

Subscribe to the show via your podcatcher of choice and never miss an episode.

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0:00:00 - P&S drift back to the heady days of answering machines, voicemail and when a mobile phone only made phone calls. Aaahh.

0:11:04 - Coooo coo-coo-coo-coo-COO-coo-coooo! Paul's worked his way through the bluray of "Heavy Metal", featuring most of the cast of "SCTV", and the merits (and authenticity) of the word 'independent' are debated thanks to a safe listening of Arcade Fire.

0:19:14 - Has Spike been watching Big Fat Gypsy Weddings for the "freak-pointing aspects", to learn about other cultures, or because all the women dress like central casting prostitutes? Hmmm. Furthermore, is "Catfish" (or 'Catfeesh') a documentary, or a really good fake of a documentary? That, nuclear war, and a fortuitous find in Goodwill - and he doesn't mean the contents of the first edition of Seven From The Left....

0:40:19 - "The Challengers Enter A New Dawn" is P&S's first entry in the Seven From The Left hall of fame. Or "#7<-" as the kids on The Twitter have been calling it* since the massive worldwide publicity blast. (*might be lies) Here's the deal: a charity shop is visited. The rack of LPs is located. Whatever album is seventh from the left, good or bad, is what they review. And, of course, what you are subjected to. The Challengers say they are ready to meet the challenges of the 70s - are YOU?

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Twitter: @paulandspike - @jockpbablo - @spikester - @popbunker

website: www.paulandspike.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/home.php?sk=group_158315027538791&ap=1

email: theusualaddress [at] gmail.ccom

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Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics airs on Radio Six International on Friday nights UTC/ET and Saturday nights on World FM in Wellington New Zealand. The podcast is available from 7pm US eastern time every Friday night and can be found by searching for "Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics" in the iTunes store, the Zune Marketplace, or by subscribing at sub.paulandspike.com

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Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Sunday, February 13, 2011

HIC. (Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Mix A Proper Bloody Margarita)

If you've listened to the show for a long time, you'll know that Paul has, to use the west of Scotland vernacular, ripped the pish ootie me for not drinking what he refers to as "a proper margarita", preferring, instead, cheap-o bucket mix with tequila thrown haphazardly in.  What can I say?  I'm a man of cost over palate.  The entire time, Paul has been extolling the virtues of his own margarita creation.  It's tasty, it's simple and it's easy to make. 

Well, Paul, being the lovely man that he is, physically bought the ingredients for me ("the three amiogos of fun")and passed them over on one of our monthly prescription drug drops Chinese buffet trips.  I took pictures as the show went on and I made and tasted it for the first time.  And here, as they like to say on daytime television programmes when they pass over to a pre-recorded film, is how I got on:

Sayeth Paul (in italics), "what you want to do with the fresh lime is, you want to cut a little wedge, slice right down the middle of the wedge and run that over the rim of your glass, and you use that for the salt to adhere to.  You want two parts of tequila, and a little more than one part Triple Sec and one part lime juice, and then mix and enjoy!  It's nice just to spritz a little bit of juice from the lime in there, too."

 

"It's very transparent!  The stuff that I get in the bucket is usually incredibly green."  "That's because there's food colouring and all sorts of artificial crap in there, a real margarita should be pretty clear.  Just a little green from the lime juice but that's it."

"The moment has arrived!"  "It's like taking the training wheels off the bicycle for the first time."  "That is really very good!"

And here it is:

2oz tequila,

2-and-a-bit-oz Triple Sec,

1oz lime juice.

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

HIC. (Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Mix A Proper Bloody Margarita)

If you've listened to the show for a long time, you'll know that Paul has, to use the west of Scotland vernacular, ripped the pish ootie me for not drinking what he refers to as "a proper margarita", preferring, instead, cheap-o bucket mix with tequila thrown haphazardly in.  What can I say?  I'm a man of cost over palate.  The entire time, Paul has been extolling the virtues of his own margarita creation.  It's tasty, it's simple and it's easy to make. 

Well, Paul, being the lovely man that he is, physically bought the ingredients for me ("the three amiogos of fun")and passed them over on one of our monthly prescription drug drops Chinese buffet trips.  I took pictures as the show went on and I made and tasted it for the first time.  And here, as they like to say on daytime television programmes when they pass over to a pre-recorded film, is how I got on:

Sayeth Paul (in italics), "what you want to do with the fresh lime is, you want to cut a little wedge, slice right down the middle of the wedge and run that over the rim of your glass, and you use that for the salt to adhere to.  You want two parts of tequila, and a little more than one part Triple Sec and one part lime juice, and then mix and enjoy!  It's nice just to spritz a little bit of juice from the lime in there, too."

 

"It's very transparent!  The stuff that I get in the bucket is usually incredibly green."  "That's because there's food colouring and all sorts of artificial crap in there, a real margarita should be pretty clear.  Just a little green from the lime juice but that's it."

"The moment has arrived!"  "It's like taking the training wheels off the bicycle for the first time."  "That is really very good!"

And here it is:

2oz tequila,

2-and-a-bit-oz Triple Sec,

1oz lime juice.

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Friday, February 11, 2011

#401 - Holiday Catchup

Download the whole show for future listenage - click/rightclick here.

Never miss a thrilling 2GC episode! Subcribe in your podcatcher of choice here.

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A packed show this week as P&S return from their extended holiday break, the lazy hounds. There's booze, war, swearing and terrible puns. What's not to like?

0:00:00 - An Andy Kaufman-style challenge to the audience begins the first show of oh-eleven, as the assembled masses' tolerance is tested. Can they sit through 260 spam messages? Probably not, because P&S turn quickly to a drinks update, and the secret to Paul's award-winning margarita becomes drunkenly clear, as does the effect it has on Spike.

0:17:00 - An unmemorable festive season in Stuff for Paul, albeit one filled with blood, guts and war; including "The Thin Red Line", "Hamburger Hill" and not necessarily including a rewatch (and analysis) of "Apocalypse Now" on Bluray. Cool! Look at that napalm!! Other Blurayage includes pickage uppage of "The Fifth Element", "V For Vendetta", "Role Models", and "The Mummy", and Paul "the white IT nerd" has a newfound respect for Eminem, thanks to Popbunker.

0:46:57 - Tim Vine jokes a-plenty peppering Spike's festive season in Stuff, there's the world's only Nick Broomfield impersonation and a trailer for next week's "Big Fay Gypsey Weddings" review, because there's no way the amount of time left could ever do it justice...

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Twitter: @paulandspike - @jockpbablo - @spikester - @popbunker

website: www.paulandspike.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/home.php?sk=group_158315027538791&ap=1

email: theusualaddress [at] gmail.ccom

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Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics airs on Radio Six International on Friday nights UTC/ET and Saturday nights on World FM in Wellington New Zealand. The podcast is available from 7pm US eastern time every Friday night and can be found by searching for "Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics" in the iTunes store, the Zune Marketplace, or by subscribing at sub.paulandspike.com

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Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Monday, February 07, 2011

aaaaaaand we're back!

 

Yes!  Here we are, season four of the show formerly known as The Paul And Spike Show, now known as Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics.  Please update your address books, award nomination application forms and cheques to reflect that change.

Nice and easy subject for our first show back together, let us know about your festive season in Stuff.  What did you watch?  What did you read?  What did you listen to?  Not the P&S Christmas Special, judging by the listening figures, but we'll forgive you.  Miss, however, the P&S Easter Spectacular, and we'll effing cut you from gullet to gizzard.

And in other news, poo-pah razzies to live.com, whose email system harkens back to the days of smoke signals, semaphore and receving morse code from half a world away, we're going back to gmail.  So, the new usual address is the new usual address.  Linkage yonder.

Comment, as always, at www.paulandspike.com by logging in using your existing Facebook or Twitter account.

Get your answers in by 5pm US/e on Wednesday!  Don't delay!

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics