Friday, December 23, 2011

Too Grumpy Critics Say: Happy Holidays! Here's A Rotten Old Repeat From A Year Ago.

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Picture it: Christmas!  2010!  From the bowels of the Taskerlands Radiophonic Workshop comes a rarity: a radio special that's so special, it can bring the world together.  It unites warring nations via the gift of laughter.  It ends hunger, cures various cancers and colonises Mars.  Global warming immediately depletes, polar ice caps re-freeze and the hole in the ozone layer - if that still exists, even - closes up.  For 80 glorious minutes of mirth, the world unites and listens to what is arguably the greatest christmas special that sounds like an old radio broadcast from the 40s that has ever been produced by two blokes called Paul and Spike.  In West Virginia.  In the fall of 2010.

As you can imagine, competition was stiff for that particular award.  Ahem.

OK, so this isn't just a lazy repeat of last year's critically lauded special.  I mean, that would be too easy.  No, this is a newly edited version; running at a svelte 60 minutes (or one metric hour), the special now zips along at a steady pace, with all the unnecessary padding stripped out.  All this means that even though there might be less world uniting, hunger-ending, environment preserving, ozone layer-repairing going on, it *does* give you more time to get the rest of your shopping done.


Happy holidays.  See you in oh-twelve.

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Friday, December 16, 2011

Too Grumpy Critics Rotten Old Repeated Christmas Special (part 1)

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It's the most wonderful time of the year!  What makes it wonderful?  Taking time off work, of course!  But don't worry, there's still a festive smell in the air with this, the special director's cut of the 2008 Christmas Special.  Why is it the director's cut?  Well, there is approximately five whole podcast-exclusive minutes of new material crowbarred in instead of including the costly music that used to be there, it's in living stereo, and also because.... 

 

um.....

 

uuhhhhhhh.....

 

LOOK, IT JUST *IS*, ALRIGHT?  WHY DON'T YOU GET THE HELL OFF MY BACK ABOUT IT?  RIGHT, THAT'S IT - I'M GOING TO MOTHER'S.

 

 

 

***SLAM!!!!***

 

 

 

Um, anywayses.  Next week, you can enjoy the specially edited director's cut of last year's Christmas special, "Paul&Spike: The Gay Batchelors"; now edited down to a managable hour, with almost all of the painfully unfunny filler garbage cut out.

 

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Friday, December 09, 2011

podcast #505 - WARNING! FILM BORES ONLY.

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WARNING!  This episode is for film bores only, as Old Spike takes his place in the rotating Paul Chair.  On the agenda is OS's Week In Stuff, some chat about the classics, the time he and his mother's trip across Glasgow was interrupted by the real Laurel and Hardy, and we'll find out who WC Fields referred to as "a goddamn ballerina".

Owing to some construction at Taskerlands, the recording home of Too Grumpy Critics, next week will be a special presentation of a previous years' Christmas special, so there's plenty of time to get your answers in for Old Spike's question: what film quotes have you incorporated into your daily life? Do you know someone who doesn't like the special sauce, Rick?  Have you ever made someone an offer they couldn't refuse, or told them to try the veal?  Let us know at the usual address, which IS...?

theusualaddress at gmail.com

@spikester on Twitter

and, for Google Plus fans, it's plus.paulandspike.com

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Friday, December 02, 2011

podcast #504 - John Collins Talks Radio / Sit-Com Movies




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At last! An expert! Radio programming King Midas John Collins plonks himself down in the rotating Paul Chair to talk radio. Spike faces off against his broadcasting mentor; John is endlessly enthusiastic about the future of radio as a medium; Spike.... not so much. Can someone who still believes in the magic convince him otherwise?

Also on the agenda: a dissection of Scottish politics,why certain formats work in some countries but not others, and what "ben the press" means.  Apologies for the dip in quality in the first half hour - blame Spike's wilderness internet.

Keep in touch!

email: theusualaddress [at] gmail.com
twitter: @spikester
G+: plus.paulandspike.com

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Sunday, November 27, 2011

This Week's Too Grumpy Critics Question...

I'm recording the show early this week - tomorrow, in fact - with radio genius John Collins. Two questions:

1] Matt Owen's question from last week was on the subject of sit-coms. What sit-com - past or present - would you like to see being given the big screen treatment? 

2] Traditional radio; do you still listen to it? Is it still valuable to your life?

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts - and do feel free to share the post with your smart friends! ;D

Log in with your existing Facebook or Twitter accounts at paulandspike.com and comment, or email: theusualaddress {at} gmail.com, @spikester, or plus.paulandspike.com

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Friday, November 25, 2011

podcast #503: Satirist Matt Owen / Film Location Pilgrimages

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This week's guest is Matt Owen, writer for "The Joan Rivers Position", satirical magazine Private Eye, that Channel Four sweatshop known as "The 11 O'Clock Show" (which featured both Sacha Baron-Cohen, Ricky Gervaise at the start of their careers, and a fresh-faced Charlie Brooker), plus innumerable birthday cards - some of which had tenners in.

Another great show for aficionados of British comedy and for anyone who has ever thought about writing comedy.  Do Americans process comedy in a different way than Brits?  What makes some British shows work across the pond, but others fall flat?  Why do American sit-coms have better character development than their British counterparts?  These and other comedy conundrums addressed head-on, in addition to an update on who started the second world war, whether Stephen Fry needs any more money, and what makes acceptable subjects for comedy.

The question for next week's show: The 70s had several instances of sit-coms being made into films, what modern (or past) sit-coms would you like to see get the theatrical treatment?

Follow Matt on The Electronical Twitter Machine: @mjowen

Keep in touch via The Usual Address, which IS....?  theusualaddress [at] gmail.com
via Twitter: @spikester
via Google+: plus.paulandspike.com 

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

podcast #503: Satirist Matt Owen / Film Location Pilgrimages

Download the show for desktop listenage here.

Never miss another episode.  Subscribe to the feed here.

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This week's guest is Matt Owen, writer for "The Joan Rivers Position", satirical magazine Private Eye, that Channel Four sweatshop known as "The 11 O'Clock Show" (which featured both Sacha Baron-Cohen, Ricky Gervaise at the start of their careers, and a fresh-faced Charlie Brooker), plus innumerable birthday cards - some of which had tenners in.

Another great show for aficionados of British comedy and for anyone who has ever thought about writing comedy.  Do Americans process comedy in a different way than Brits?  What makes some British shows work across the pond, but others fall flat?  Why do American sit-coms have better character development than their British counterparts?  These and other comedy conundrums addressed head-on, in addition to an update on who started the second world war, whether Stephen Fry needs any more money, and what makes acceptable subjects for comedy.

The question for next week's show: The 70s had several instances of sit-coms being made into films, what modern (or past) sit-coms would you like to see get the theatrical treatment?

Follow Matt on The Electronical Twitter Machine: @mjowen

Keep in touch via The Usual Address, which IS....?  theusualaddress [at] gmail.com
via Twitter: @spikester
via Google+: plus.paulandspike.com 

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

This Week's Guest and Question

This week, we welcome satirist, writer, bon vivant and raconteur Matt Owen. Scribe (oh LORD how i hate that word) for Private Eye, Have I Got News For You, and innumerable birthday cards to friends and relatives. You'll probably remember him from "sorry it's a bit late", "many happy returns, Janet" and, perhaps most famously, "I didn't have time to go shopping, hope a tenner's ok". Any questions or comments or ideas for further classic greetings cards messages can be sent to the usual address at the bottom of the page.

This week's question, set by Louis Barfe, was whether you had made a pilgrimage to any TV or movie locations. I shared my story about dragging my sister and brother in law to the Monroeville Mall near Pittsburgh; location for George A Romero's Dawn Of The Dead. And yes, Dawn fans, we took flowers to the fountain.

Send your correspondence to the usual address, which IS...?

THEUSUALADDRESS AT GMAIL.COM

Twidduh: @spikester

Google Plus: plus.google.com

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Friday, November 18, 2011

Too Grumpy Podcast #502 - Author Louis Barfe / Remaking Kids' TV

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If you're a fan of classic British comedy, this week's show with author Louis Barfe will either play out like a conversation with kindred spirits, or serve as the basis for a lifetime of research into the essentials.

Find out how much of Louis' new book was written with his trousers at his ankles, what made the last ten thousand words of "Where Have All The Good Times Gone" fly by, and who really won the Sex Pistols/Bill Grundy debate.

Pre-order "The Trials And Triumphs Of Les Dawson" on t'Amazon now.  It's available in early February of oh-twelve.

BRITISHERS! Order Louis' books on the Amazon dot coe dot you kay machine by clicking here.

AMERICANSES! Order Louis' books on Amazon dot com by clicking here. Get 'em whilst they're cheap... before he does!

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Keepez-vous in touch avec the show:

The Usual Address - @spikester - Google+

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

This Week's Guest: author Louis Barfe

Sitting atop the rotating Paul Chair this week is writer and biographer Louis Barfe, responsible for such books as "Turned Out Nice Again: The Story Of British Light Entertainment", "Where Have All The Good Times Gone?: The Rise And Fall Of The Record Industry", and the upcoming biography of comedian Les Dawson, released next year.  I think title probably needs a colon, so it doesn't feel left out.  And remember; when you use the code "paulandspike" at checkout, Amazon will sell you any of those books at the regular price!

In addition to them books and stuff, Louis has also done wrotings for the Radio Times (it's out to-daaayyyy digga digga digga digga digga), Private Eye, The Independent, Wives' Readers, The New Statesman, Honkgobbler's Monthly, Publishing News, The Spectator, Absent-Minded Magazine, Literary Review, and Absent-Minded Magazine.  (be careful with that joke... it's an antique.)

We'll be having a bijou natterette about the books, about Dawson, about writing, and about whether the glory days of entertainment have swirled away down the crapper, like so many tab ends.  Also on the agenda, Louis will be sharing his Week In Stuff, giving his thoughts on last week's question, and setting his own for next week.

If you've got any questions or comments for him, get in touch via all the usual outlets:

use your existing Facebook and/or Twitter accounts to log in at paulandspike.com and leave a comment.

email: theusualaddress at gmail.com

twitter: @spikester

Google+: plus.google.com

which you can also use to answer last week's question from ghosthunter extraordinaire Andrew Wooding: which kids' tv show from your youth would you like to see remade for a modern audience.

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Friday, November 11, 2011

#501 - Author Andrew Wooding / Movies That Make You Cry


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This week, Andrew Wooding (one half of Two Men and a Ghost) gets dizzy on the Paul Chair to talk about his in-progress spooky books, the regular 2MG two-page spread in Haunted Magazine and Mike Kazybrid's 'Plastic Grannies'.  Also on the agenda, Andrew's Week In Stuff, a conversation about whether "Life Of Brian" is offensive or not, and tears flow as we tackle last season's cliffhanger question regarding films that make us cry.

Keep in touch, via The Usual Address / Twitter / Google+

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Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Saturday, November 05, 2011

In the #2GC Paul Chair This Week... John Collins; @johnco

He's a Sony award-winning broadcaster and a National Training Award-winning fountain of knowledge!  He's the busiest man in Scottish radio!  He was my boss for roughly fifteen minutes and a mentor for almost two decades!  He's on the board at the Scottish Radio Academy! He was our international correspondent on old fashioned radio and was called "as smart as a whip" by our genius-level listeners!  He's a radio ratings King Midus, and now he's passing his knowledge and enthusiasm on to radio's next generation at Reid Kerr College in Paisley!

Host of both The Drum's Scottish Media Podcast, and the Radio Academy Scotland's podcast; He's John Collins and he's the first 'Paul Chair' guest co-host on Two Grumpy Critics.  Got any questions for him?  In addition to being an oracle of Scottish radio, he's an appreciator of American radio, and knows his onions when it comes to the format's past, present and future.

Get your correspondence in by Monday morning, though.  We're taping early this week!  Send your questions/comments to the usual address, or log in at paulandspike.com using your existing Facebook or Twitter accounts and comment.

You can interact directly with him (and consider this an early #FF) on The Twitter, by following @johnco

He's also on The Facebook.

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

In the #2GC Paul Chair This Week... John Collins.

He's a Sony award-winning broadcaster and a National Training Award-winning fountain of knowledge!  He's the busiest man in Scottish radio!  He was my boss for roughly fifteen minutes and a mentor for almost two decades!  He's on the board at the Scottish Radio Academy! He was our international correspondent on old fashioned radio and was called "as smart as a whip" by our genius-level listeners!  He's a radio ratings King Midus, and now he's passing his knowledge and enthusiasm on to radio's next generation at Reid Kerr College in Paisley!

Host of both The Drum's Scottish Media Podcast, and the Radio Academy Scotland's podcast; He's John Collins and he's the first 'Paul Chair' guest co-host on Two Grumpy Critics.  Got any questions for him?  In addition to being an oracle of Scottish radio, he's an appreciator of American radio, and knows his onions when it comes to the format's past, present and future.

Get your correspondence in by Monday morning, though.  We're taping early this week!  Send your questions/comments to the usual address, or log in at paulandspike.com using your existing Facebook or Twitter accounts and comment.

You can interact directly with him (and consider this an early #FF) on The Twitter, by following @johnco

He's also on The Facebook.

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

#2GC Next Week's Topic...

...is crying.  What movie makes you into a Mister/Little Miss Rainyface?  What movie(s) never fail to turn the tap of your personal waterworks?  Let us know at all the usual places....

Via Twitter: @paulandspike

Via email: theusualaddress [at the] gmail.com

Or by logging in at paulandspike.com with your existing Twitter or Facebook accounts and going grazygonuts in the comments section.

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

#2GC Next Week's Topic...

...is crying.  What movie makes you into a Mister/Little Miss Rainyface?  What movie(s) never fail to turn the tap of your personal waterworks?  Let us know at all the usual places....

Via Twitter: @paulandspike

Via email: theusualaddress [at the] gmail.com

Or by logging in at paulandspike.com with your existing Twitter or Facebook accounts and going grazygonuts in the comments section.

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Friday, November 04, 2011

#500 - Season Five Pre-Premiere

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And so, as we begin the beginning of season five of Too Grumpy Critics, we do so with just one very small and minor change; 50% of the cast is missing.  o_O  Paul has decided to extend his vacation from the show, so - hopefully - he'll be back at some point.  So in order to make up the smart quotient of the show, here's how it's going to work for the next few weeks: I'll be rotating guest co-hosts of interest who will discuss their week in stuff, answer and comb through the correspondence from the previous weeks' question, and to set their own question for the next week's guest.

This week, being the pre-premiere, we refresh our memories with an edited recap of the last show, and also hear a clip from 2009's appearance from Mike Kazybrid and Andrew Wooding, otherwise known as Two Men and a Ghost, who will be joining us in two weeks' time.  Next week, though, Scottish radio legend and member of the Sony radio academy John Collins will drop in to tell us exactly why he thinks live and local radio *isn't* doomned.  Good luck, John!

Onwards ad upwards, troops!

 

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Friday, June 10, 2011

#413 - Eager Summer Blockbusters

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Quick note: it sounds like, in some places, Paul has delayed reaction times. This isn't down to drink, it's down to a weird bandwidth issue that meant there was a gap of roughly three seconds between one saying something and the other hearing it. Because the show is recorded on Spike's side, Paul is the one that sounds slow.

0:00:00 - Master Paul Higginbotham and Sir Spike Nesmith The Third discuss their hot weather no-booze drinks.

0:02:24 - Light Week In Stuff for Paul including the first episode of the elusive but comprehensive series "Hollywood", a series that takes roughly as much time to watch as it takes to see three Kurosawa movies; nine years. Also, a third week of cartoon violence and - this time - some freshly restored racism with the "Tom and Jerry" DVD set. C'mon chile!

0:08:27 - Spike's moving house, so there's little time to watch any Stuff. He finally got his grubby mitts on an entirely legal copy of the US "Life On Mars". Be warned, there's a spoiler alert for the UK spin-off "Ashes To Ashes". Not that it matters, given how good it wasn't. Imagine, though. History on The History Channel, in the shape of "American Pickers"!

0:24:50 - Next week's topic is revealed - what movies or scenes in movies always bring a lump to your throat. In other words, what are the great weepies, or the so-called weepies that leave you cold?

0:32:08 - This week's question: what was the last big summer blockbuster that you were *really* excited about?

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As Mr T would say, "please keep in touch with the show and let us know your thoughts, not only on whatever subject we happen to be covering at the time, but also on past topics, if you happen to be listenng to a previous show. Fool."

EMAIL! theusualaddress [at] gmail dot com

TWITTER! @paulandspike - @jockopablo - @spikester

FACEBOOK! http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_158315027538791&ap=1

WEBSITE! paulandspike.com

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Monday, May 30, 2011

This Week's Question: Heaven And Hell's Multiplexes

This week's question will require some noodling. Assuming for a moment that heaven and hell are real places and are tailored specifically to your personal likes and hates, what movies would be playing at their multiplexes? Let's pick three of each; the three movies you'd most love to watch on the big screen from a plush, comfy couch in heaven, and the three movies that would be playing on a perpetual loop in hell's cinema, which probably looks like this...

Media_httpwwwurbangho_cqbhm

....and has crying babies, no air conditioning and a teen Facebooking in front of you, so the light from their undeserved smartphone serves as a continual distraction.

Let us know by this Thursday evening (the 2nd) by 6pm US/e or 11pm UK.

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Friday, May 27, 2011

#140 - Documentaries That Made A Difference

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A cracking show this week, with plenty of correspondence from the commenariat over the subject o'the week, and Paul's left field pun.  You won't see it coming...

0:00:00 - Ever wanted to know the history behind the emphasis on the letter 'N' in 'WNBC'?  No, neither have I, but Spike is sure going to tell us.  And he'll do it louder than our objections.

0:04:44 - Paul's Week In Stuff is roughly 900% busier than his last WIS, taking in Lady Gaga's new album (really!), which leads on to a surprising discussion in which Mother Monster gets some surprising props from the middle-aged grumpsters.  He's bringin' back the childhood with a Tom and Jerry DVD set, making the bed shake with Mark Twain (steady!) and "yeeesssss"-ing over Black Swan.  ....still.  Whhhoooaaarrrrrr, eh?

0:31:09 - Spike's speedy Week In Stuff pimps the new(ish) Dark Skies DVD set.

0:35:17 - This week's question centers around documentaries, and what makes a good'n.

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The Usual Address

Twitter: @paulandspike @jockopablo @spikester

The Facebook Too Grumpy VIP Lounge

 

 

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Saturday, May 21, 2011

#140: Over/Under - Disney Movies

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This week, the Superchaps Two discuss Black Swan (yeeeessss), 3DTV and the audience share their over-rated and under-rated Disney movies.

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Friday, May 06, 2011

#408 - I Never Noticed That Before!

 

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0:00:00 - After a drinks update, a bin Laden update, a drinks update and a dinner update, it's on to a long discussion about P&S's halcyon days in old fashioned radio.

0:04:33 - Are you talking to Paul? Are YOU talking... to Paul? I don't see anyone else here, so you must be talking to Paul. He caught Taxi Driver on bluray, following the discussion last week, and becomes the only person to equate the movie with the phrase "wheeee!". In a week of time travel, BOTH - yes, BOTH - version of "Life On Mars" get an airing.

0:10:43 - Spike's charity shop bargain run bags him season 1 of the sit-com "Taxi", which ends up being a better bargain in the entertainment stakes than even he expected. There's a discussion on the merits (or lack thereof) of new Who, John Simm's intensity, and Jim Broadbent's altzheimer's.

0:38:28 - Last week, P&S asked about movies you had seen before, but had noticed something new about it on a recent viewing.

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NEXT WEEK! Send in your comments on movies you've seen more than once or twice before, but have discovered something new the most recent time you watched it.

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Keep in touch! We're at The Twitter [@paulandspike], The Facebook, The Website and The Usual Address.

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Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Friday, April 29, 2011

#407 - Opening Scenes

DOWNLOAD YE OLDE SHOWE HERE, SCALLYWAG!

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0:00:00 - Paul's back from, but still drinking, Tay-CCHHHHass, having visited San Antonio - bizarrely, the city that downloads Too Grumpy Critics the most.

0:04:09 - Paul's Couple Of Weeks In Stuff include a computer animated sequel that rebounds the trilogy, a 3D movie that inspires girlish giggles from Spike who invokes The Three Amigos, there's a discussion on Nintendo's eighth wonder of the world, a bluray purchase of The Magnificent Seven Samurai, and, in honour of his trip to Tay-CHHHass, a viewing of "The Alamo".

0:20:20 - Spike's Week In Stuff features a grainy bluray in which a real rain comes to wash all the scum off the streets, which leads to a comparison with a movie in which Michael Douglas asks if he's the bad guy. There's a movie in which a man needs a hand to get out of a hole, a high definition experience starring a man who had not yet developed his trademark "diabeetus.

0:37:52 - This week's question is about your favourite opening scenes from movies. The usual way-too-smart responses from the commentariat, with a few surprises.... not the least from Spike.

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NEXT WEEK! Send in your comments on movies you've seen more than once or twice before, but have discovered something new the most recent time you watched it.

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Keep in touch! We're at The Twitter [@paulandspike], The Facebook, The Website and The Usual Address.

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Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Friday, April 15, 2011

#406 - Emperor's New Clothes Movies

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One last appearance for Spike's dad Old Spike (until summer) as the THREE Grumpy Critics dissect their weeks in stuff and the emperor's new movies...

0:00:00 - What links Charles Atlas, fruit juicers and eyebrows...? Ooohhhh wouldn't YOU like to know.... bub?

0:03:20 - Classic black and white movie connoisseur Old Spike has his patience tested with viewings of the CGI blockbusters "Hop" and "Despicable Me", but tops up his geek levels with a $2.50 bargain wire bin purchase of "Stage Door Canteen". Be warned, there's a spoiler alert with a reading of the last page of "Gulliver's Travels".

0:16:40 - Paul's short week in stuff has a little Zappa, and a lot of Tron.

0:27:48 - After some soul (and wallet) searching, Spike has made his first blu-ray purchases, which doesn't include "Office Space", but has some hypnotic Pixar hair, a man who thinks a real rain will come to wash all the scum off the streets, and a so-called classic, which leads nicely to this week's topic....

0:37:10 - As suggested by Old Spike, this week's topic is "The Emperor's New Clothes"; those movies that eeeeeeverybody else seems to praise to the high heavens for whatever reason, but that you just can't seem to see the appeal of. There's both consensus and some very controversial picks from the commentariat, and the potential for some cinematic rehabilitation....

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Keep in touch! We're at The Twitter [@paulandspike], The Facebook, The Website and The Usual Address.

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Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Friday, April 08, 2011

#405 - WARNING: FILM BORES ONLY!

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In what is sure to be the season's lowest-rated episode, Paul, Spike and honourary third Grumpy Critic Old Spike (Spike's dad) put the movie world to rights with their own brand of too much booze, hatred of all cinematic things modern and "hey, can we hurry this garbage up, I've got a frigging lawn to mow before it gets dark".

Sorry in advance.

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Keep in touch at The Usual Address, via the Too Grumpy Critics VIP Lounge on Facebook, or at www.paulandspike.com

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Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Friday, April 01, 2011

#404 - Your Favourite Movie Monologues

 

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0:00:00 - After what one listener described as "the most epic top-of-hour I've ever heard", it's right into the action with rainbows and unicorns and glitter... and scotch.

0:02:09 - Paul's Week In Stuff got off to a terrible start because the other podcast-recommended French not-a-comedy "OSS117" stunk on ice. Les Français ne sont pas des comédiens, as they say. Aw-he-haw, etcetera. A surprisingly good review for the remake of "The Karate Kid", some top-shelf geekery with the season two bluray of "Star Trek" and there are more laughs per metric tonne in Mark Twain's autobiography than there are in any book Sarah Palin has pretended to write.

0:14:12 - Two interesting movies in Spike's Week In Stuff, with finger-chopping action in "Unthinkable", and everything else-chopping action in "Neds".

0:34:19 - This week's topic is movie monologues - P&S and the movie literate audience discuss their favourites, the notable ones and ones they didn't know about.

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Keep in touch at The Usual Address, via the Too Grumpy Critics VIP Lounge on Facebook, or at www.paulandspike.com

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Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

This Week: Your Favourite Movie Monologues.

You've seen 'em; movie monologues.  It's the speech, usually at a pivotal point in the plot, turning it around and onto its head or underscoring a dramatic crescendo. Which ones are your favourites and why? Which ones are notable?  Which ones are forgotten, or underappreciated?  Are you a "mad as hell"?  Maybe you're a cuckoo clock?  Or, perhaps you're an Independence Day.  Lets us know your favourites, or your notables, at all the usual places:

Send us an email to the usual address, which IS....?

Log in using your existing Facebook/Twitter account and comment at paulandspike.com.

Or join the Too Grumpy VIP Lounge on Facebook.

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Friday, March 25, 2011

#403 - Over/Under: Albums

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The show is finally back, taking on the subject that they left you hanging with last month!

0:00:00 - Spike's inner Burt seems to be broken, but there's correspondence, a Larry King impression and a drinks update. Well, at least one of them is happy...

0:05:30 - Paul seems to be suffering from a Week In Stuff-related bout of memory loss and lives purely in the moment. The Old Spike-recommended "The Draughtsman's Contract" seems to fall somewhat flat, "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo" raises a few eyebrows, there's post-apocalyptic fun with the movie adaptation of "The Road", post-turning-into-a-bug fun with Kafka's "Metamorphosis" and a surprising album that has made it's way into Pablo's top albums of all time...

0:28:50 - Poor Spike's been without a DVR and been made a captive audience to basic cable, which lead him to watch an entire day of Animal Planet's Cops-like "Animal Cops". To Netflix (drink!) and on Paul's advise on a previous show, "The Book Of Eli". Beware... there's possible spoilers! No spoilers, only hilarity as Spike reveals his shameful addiction to a truly terrible Scottish soap opera.

0:39:47 - This week's subject has echos of a previous show, as P&S revisit Over/Under albums. The cheeky chappies make their picks, and the varied commentariat make their picks too, for the albums they feel are over-rated, and those they feel are under-rated.

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On next week's show: your favourite movie monologues.

Send your picks to The Usual Address, which IS.....?

Log in to paulandspike.com with your existing Twitter and/or Facebook account and leave a comment there.

Or join the Too Grumpy VIP Lounge at Facebook, where not only can you comment on the topic at hand, you can get sneak previews of upcoming topics before they're released into the wild...

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Monday, March 21, 2011

We're Back! Over/Under: Albums

Hellooooo!  Spike here!  Paul and I will be back this week after our unexpected hiatus.  Thanks again for all your very kind comments and well-wishings, you're a lovely bunch.  I'm recovering well, eating well and exercising a lot, and my chest has healed enough to where it's not too painful to guffaw; my self-imposed requirement to coming back, such are the dangers of working with Mr Higginbotham.

It figures that we pick up where we left off, and complete the show we threw the topic out for last month: Over/Under albums.

You know the drill by now, pick two albums - one of them you think is over-rated for whatever reason, the other you feel is under-rated.  Feel free to be controversial, we love it when a sacred dinosaur is eloquently gored, and be as explanatory as you feel you need to be.  We won't judge your choices too harshly, even if you pick "The Challengers Enter A New Dawn" as your under.

If you submitted your picks last month when we first asked the question, you're all set.  We still have those entries, and unless you want to clarify or change your choices, you can put your feet up and relax.  Everybody else, please get your entries in by 6pm US/e on Wednesday (10pm UK).

Sign in at paulandspike.com using your existing Twitter or Facebook accounts and leave your picks in the comments.

Send an email to The Usual Address, which IS....?

Or join the P&S VIP Lounge on Facebook and leave your comments on the show wall.

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Friday, February 25, 2011

So, I'm In Hospital...

Hello, all.  It's your old Building And Loan pal Spike here.  I thought I should probably give you a brief explanation as to why the show is going on a rather unexpected hiatus for a few weeks.  It's because I'm in hospital for open heart surgery.  Yes.  It's true... I *do* have one.

Details?  You want details now?  tchoh!  Well, here's the deal.  Your heart has valves - those are the bits that regulate the flow of blood in and out.  One of my valves is faulty and needs to be replaced before it causes some major damage.  What's happening is that the root of this valve, which should be water tight (or blood tight, I suppose) is leaking all over the place.  It's been diagnosed as "severe aortic regurgitation"; the blood that the valve should be transporting in and out of the inside of my heart is leaking it into other areas that will cause major damage, including into another valve.  From there it spreads to the lungs and then... woowoowoowoo bloop bloop.  Gave Over.

This isn't my first rodeo, I've had two of these surgeries before.  First in 1981 (yes, kids - I'm THAT OLD) to correct what appears to have been a random birth defect, and the second time, in 1991, to replace the first valve I had since grown out of.  Both times I had a pig's valve installed, this go around it's a prosthetic, which will last forever.  You want to know something *really* bizarre?  For the first time in thirty years, there won't be a part of a pig keeping me alive.  Weird thought, that.

Naturally, I'll be recovering for a while, but the minute I feel I can laugh again without it hurting, Paul and I will be making more shows together.  Not laughing isn't an option when I sit down with Paul, plus we've been stockpiling material for Seven From The Left, with at least two LPs that look like they'll be too good to miss.  The bad news is that because I will have to be taking blood thinners for the rest of my life, there's a pretty big chance I'll have to become - gulp - sober.  Like, forever.  A frightening prospect for a Scotsman, but at least I got to taste heaven.

I wanted to thank all of you who have sent kind messages to me over the past few days, it really means a lot.  As soon as I'm awake and alert and they let me have my phone or lappy back, I'll fill you in on the details.  So as I sit here, on open heart surgery eve, please remember that this isn't goodbye.  Not by a long shot.  It's more like, 'go and listen to the christmas special because i didn't put all that bloody hard work into it to have it ignored by the likes of you'.

Love ya.  Mean it.

S. =)

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Sunday, February 20, 2011

The Challengers - Where Are They Now?

This week, in the first edition of Seven From The Left, you heard Paul and I take on the early 70s musical stylings of this gang of alwa'ae-dae-weels; southern gospel group The Challengers, in what appears to be their only outing on vinyl. Or any format, come to think of it.

There's only only factoid we're sure of, and that is that God loves them (so long as he doesn't have to listen to their music). Other than that, their shadowy present is cloaked in mystery... so, we need your help.

No, no. Put down that Google. Believe me, our crack team of researchers have already scoured the frames, skinkels and hoptopplet-plates of all seven of the known internets for information, but updates on recent activity from any of The Challengers remains elusive. And so, dear readers, the ball is in your court.

Take a good look at the gang of eight and let us know where YOU think they are today. What have they been up to? Did they stay in the church? Did they split up and form two rival factions of Challengers tribute bands? Did one, or more, of them become a serial killer who sang "oh praise him naaaoowwwww" as he merrily dismembered his screaming victims?

Let us know below!

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Friday, February 18, 2011

#402 - Seven From The Left: "The Challengers Enter A New Dawn"

 

Download the whole episode by clicking/right-clicking here.

Subscribe to the show via your podcatcher of choice and never miss an episode.

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0:00:00 - P&S drift back to the heady days of answering machines, voicemail and when a mobile phone only made phone calls. Aaahh.

0:11:04 - Coooo coo-coo-coo-coo-COO-coo-coooo! Paul's worked his way through the bluray of "Heavy Metal", featuring most of the cast of "SCTV", and the merits (and authenticity) of the word 'independent' are debated thanks to a safe listening of Arcade Fire.

0:19:14 - Has Spike been watching Big Fat Gypsy Weddings for the "freak-pointing aspects", to learn about other cultures, or because all the women dress like central casting prostitutes? Hmmm. Furthermore, is "Catfish" (or 'Catfeesh') a documentary, or a really good fake of a documentary? That, nuclear war, and a fortuitous find in Goodwill - and he doesn't mean the contents of the first edition of Seven From The Left....

0:40:19 - "The Challengers Enter A New Dawn" is P&S's first entry in the Seven From The Left hall of fame. Or "#7<-" as the kids on The Twitter have been calling it* since the massive worldwide publicity blast. (*might be lies) Here's the deal: a charity shop is visited. The rack of LPs is located. Whatever album is seventh from the left, good or bad, is what they review. And, of course, what you are subjected to. The Challengers say they are ready to meet the challenges of the 70s - are YOU?

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Twitter: @paulandspike - @jockpbablo - @spikester - @popbunker

website: www.paulandspike.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/home.php?sk=group_158315027538791&ap=1

email: theusualaddress [at] gmail.ccom

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Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics airs on Radio Six International on Friday nights UTC/ET and Saturday nights on World FM in Wellington New Zealand. The podcast is available from 7pm US eastern time every Friday night and can be found by searching for "Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics" in the iTunes store, the Zune Marketplace, or by subscribing at sub.paulandspike.com

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Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Sunday, February 13, 2011

HIC. (Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Mix A Proper Bloody Margarita)

If you've listened to the show for a long time, you'll know that Paul has, to use the west of Scotland vernacular, ripped the pish ootie me for not drinking what he refers to as "a proper margarita", preferring, instead, cheap-o bucket mix with tequila thrown haphazardly in.  What can I say?  I'm a man of cost over palate.  The entire time, Paul has been extolling the virtues of his own margarita creation.  It's tasty, it's simple and it's easy to make. 

Well, Paul, being the lovely man that he is, physically bought the ingredients for me ("the three amiogos of fun")and passed them over on one of our monthly prescription drug drops Chinese buffet trips.  I took pictures as the show went on and I made and tasted it for the first time.  And here, as they like to say on daytime television programmes when they pass over to a pre-recorded film, is how I got on:

Sayeth Paul (in italics), "what you want to do with the fresh lime is, you want to cut a little wedge, slice right down the middle of the wedge and run that over the rim of your glass, and you use that for the salt to adhere to.  You want two parts of tequila, and a little more than one part Triple Sec and one part lime juice, and then mix and enjoy!  It's nice just to spritz a little bit of juice from the lime in there, too."

 

"It's very transparent!  The stuff that I get in the bucket is usually incredibly green."  "That's because there's food colouring and all sorts of artificial crap in there, a real margarita should be pretty clear.  Just a little green from the lime juice but that's it."

"The moment has arrived!"  "It's like taking the training wheels off the bicycle for the first time."  "That is really very good!"

And here it is:

2oz tequila,

2-and-a-bit-oz Triple Sec,

1oz lime juice.

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

HIC. (Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Mix A Proper Bloody Margarita)

If you've listened to the show for a long time, you'll know that Paul has, to use the west of Scotland vernacular, ripped the pish ootie me for not drinking what he refers to as "a proper margarita", preferring, instead, cheap-o bucket mix with tequila thrown haphazardly in.  What can I say?  I'm a man of cost over palate.  The entire time, Paul has been extolling the virtues of his own margarita creation.  It's tasty, it's simple and it's easy to make. 

Well, Paul, being the lovely man that he is, physically bought the ingredients for me ("the three amiogos of fun")and passed them over on one of our monthly prescription drug drops Chinese buffet trips.  I took pictures as the show went on and I made and tasted it for the first time.  And here, as they like to say on daytime television programmes when they pass over to a pre-recorded film, is how I got on:

Sayeth Paul (in italics), "what you want to do with the fresh lime is, you want to cut a little wedge, slice right down the middle of the wedge and run that over the rim of your glass, and you use that for the salt to adhere to.  You want two parts of tequila, and a little more than one part Triple Sec and one part lime juice, and then mix and enjoy!  It's nice just to spritz a little bit of juice from the lime in there, too."

 

"It's very transparent!  The stuff that I get in the bucket is usually incredibly green."  "That's because there's food colouring and all sorts of artificial crap in there, a real margarita should be pretty clear.  Just a little green from the lime juice but that's it."

"The moment has arrived!"  "It's like taking the training wheels off the bicycle for the first time."  "That is really very good!"

And here it is:

2oz tequila,

2-and-a-bit-oz Triple Sec,

1oz lime juice.

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Friday, February 11, 2011

#401 - Holiday Catchup

Download the whole show for future listenage - click/rightclick here.

Never miss a thrilling 2GC episode! Subcribe in your podcatcher of choice here.

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A packed show this week as P&S return from their extended holiday break, the lazy hounds. There's booze, war, swearing and terrible puns. What's not to like?

0:00:00 - An Andy Kaufman-style challenge to the audience begins the first show of oh-eleven, as the assembled masses' tolerance is tested. Can they sit through 260 spam messages? Probably not, because P&S turn quickly to a drinks update, and the secret to Paul's award-winning margarita becomes drunkenly clear, as does the effect it has on Spike.

0:17:00 - An unmemorable festive season in Stuff for Paul, albeit one filled with blood, guts and war; including "The Thin Red Line", "Hamburger Hill" and not necessarily including a rewatch (and analysis) of "Apocalypse Now" on Bluray. Cool! Look at that napalm!! Other Blurayage includes pickage uppage of "The Fifth Element", "V For Vendetta", "Role Models", and "The Mummy", and Paul "the white IT nerd" has a newfound respect for Eminem, thanks to Popbunker.

0:46:57 - Tim Vine jokes a-plenty peppering Spike's festive season in Stuff, there's the world's only Nick Broomfield impersonation and a trailer for next week's "Big Fay Gypsey Weddings" review, because there's no way the amount of time left could ever do it justice...

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Twitter: @paulandspike - @jockpbablo - @spikester - @popbunker

website: www.paulandspike.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/home.php?sk=group_158315027538791&ap=1

email: theusualaddress [at] gmail.ccom

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Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics airs on Radio Six International on Friday nights UTC/ET and Saturday nights on World FM in Wellington New Zealand. The podcast is available from 7pm US eastern time every Friday night and can be found by searching for "Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics" in the iTunes store, the Zune Marketplace, or by subscribing at sub.paulandspike.com

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Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics

Monday, February 07, 2011

aaaaaaand we're back!

 

Yes!  Here we are, season four of the show formerly known as The Paul And Spike Show, now known as Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics.  Please update your address books, award nomination application forms and cheques to reflect that change.

Nice and easy subject for our first show back together, let us know about your festive season in Stuff.  What did you watch?  What did you read?  What did you listen to?  Not the P&S Christmas Special, judging by the listening figures, but we'll forgive you.  Miss, however, the P&S Easter Spectacular, and we'll effing cut you from gullet to gizzard.

And in other news, poo-pah razzies to live.com, whose email system harkens back to the days of smoke signals, semaphore and receving morse code from half a world away, we're going back to gmail.  So, the new usual address is the new usual address.  Linkage yonder.

Comment, as always, at www.paulandspike.com by logging in using your existing Facebook or Twitter account.

Get your answers in by 5pm US/e on Wednesday!  Don't delay!

Posted via email from Paul&Spike: Too Grumpy Critics