Wednesday, July 23, 2008

HELLO EVERYBODY! LA LA LA! LISTEN TO MEEEE!

Dear Waiting Room Loud-Talker,

I'm sure you feel as if somehow its your duty to make sure the doctor's waiting room doesn't descend into dreadful, terrible silence, or that a private two-person conversation is made better instantly by adding another loud opinion, but really. Let me put your troubled mind at ease; you're wrong. On both counts.

Let me also give you a piece of free advice: had that been MY conversation that you had been eavesdropping on and decided to join, uninvited, or if it had been MY child that you had plonked yourself too close beside to pursue an unsolicited line of inquiry, you would be looking for ice to pack that unwelcome nose of yours in.

Look, I'm really sorry you forgot to bring a book today. My heart breaks that that the newspaper machine was empty, or that you didn't have the correct change. I'm even sympathetic that the daytime programming that is flashing garishly on the generously supplied tv holds no interest for you. But really. Shut up, bugger off and mind your own damn business.

Yours in contempt,

Spike.