Friday, August 10, 2007

O tempora! O mores! O ego clementia!

So, I'm thinking of opening up another blog to completely ignore.

Insomuch as this one has become little more than a not-read propaganda/distribution tool for my little listened-to podcast rather than a 'me and the incredibly interesting fings what i fink' sort of outlet, which was my original intention, I wonder if I could force myself to write more (and, with any luck, improve my utterly atrocious writing skills) if I had an actual subject I was interested in. See, the 'fings' theory falls down on two counts. Firstly, I'm really not that interesting. I don't do interesting things, I don't think interesting thoughts. Secondly, what I do do that's interesting either in my professional or private life, I'm not going to put in here. I am me. I don't hide behind a fake name (you really thought 'Spike' wasn't my real name?) to write hyperbolic tabloidesque tell-all stories about what REALLY goes on in my workplace, I don't expound thrilling stories about my salacious personal exploits in a TMZ-stylee. I won't even write one of those "here's what my perfect kids did yesterday" memoirs, mostly because... well, it's none of your bloody business and I find it mildly creepy that anyone other than my immediate family would be in any way, shape or form interested in the comings and goings of my kids. So without all that, what's left? A daily dose of depression? A look into how I truly believe that life isn't worth living? Hell, if people really wanted to sit down and have some loser with weird hair bum them out, they could circumvent ol' bloggy and buy a page-a-day calendar with Smiths lyrics.

So this, as you can imagine, leaves me in a bind. The want, the need, the desire to sit down and write again... But about what? (Eagle-eyed readers may notice that this entry is fast becoming a carbon-copy of the very first blog entry) WELL! I think I've found the solution.

Everyone knows that the reigning king of the internet zeitgeist is YouTube, the dubiously legal video sharing site that Google bought for the price of a hundred hospitals because their attempt to copy it went Hindenburg. I bloody love YouTube - not so much the eight second clips of cats getting chased by turtles or zit-faced hobbledehoys singing along to their favourite songs at fifteen frames per second, but the genuinely interesting stuff. I can waste hours on it watching all manner of nugatory nuggets, and frequently do. So, inspired by an awesome post at Chris James' "A Sour Apple Tree", I'm thinking I might do something along those lines. Spend some time examining interesting or important clips and what makes them interesting or important. Gawd knows if I can write paragraph after paragraph on ANYTHING, it's interesting or weird telly. So I'll play around a bit. See what strikes my fancy. See what comes out.

No cats being chased by turtles. Promise.


RedZeppelin said...

Screw the crap-on-a-cracker YouTube. You and your dad should co-write retro movie reviews.

Chris James said...

Thnks 4 teh linkage

Spike Nesmith said...

RedZeppelin said...
Screw the crap-on-a-cracker YouTube. You and your dad should co-write retro movie reviews.

If only I could convince him that teh internets aren't frightening... hell, if only I could convince him that the computer isn't scary, I think he'd have a great time blogging. Smoking cigars and watching TCM is a great afternoon, as a retirement it's hell.

The other problem with that, of course, is that I'd be left without the all-important coattails. Remember the guy that used to tour with Stephen Hawking when "A Brief History Of Time" came out? The guy that used to stand there juggling and making crappy puns about time and astrophysics....?

No, neither does anyone else, and there's the problem.

Rebecca said...

Aww, I love that cat being chased by turtle one! Of course, I'm also the kind of creepy person who enjoys reading the minutia of what other people's kids are you should probably discount my opinion altogether.

Spike Nesmith said...

=D I never discount anyone's opinion. Life is like a movie theatre; everyone watches the screen from a totally unique angle.

I'm just cautious about what I put online - Mrs Spike used to do internet safety trainings and they opened our eyes as to how easy it would be for someone dedicated enough to mine information.

Now any pictures I have of my kids online are password protected and the google videos I pass on to the fam are all by invite only (YouTube wasn't as easy to protect). What's really whacky is the realisation of how the average internet perv works; do you know that the numero uno wank-favourite of paedophiles is...? The Wal-Mart catalogue. They use staff members' kids as models and they put their names and ages. This personalises the experience for them perv - they have their target age range and they have a name for their little fantasies as they're making Kojack cry over the Toddler Fashions section.

And when you look around at the information some people have on their profiles or MySpace pages, it's amazing that *more* kids aren't abducted. I mean schools, friends' names, what car they drive, where they hang out... all it would take for a really serious predator to grab a hold of someone is one sentence with the right information. Let's say someone with the screen name Julie1989 has on her profile that she goes to Horace Mann school, her best friend is Tiffany with whom she is on the cheerleading squad, her boyfriend is Jeremy and he drives a Mustang. Not an unusual collection of information on a teenagers' profile, right? Perv could pull up to cheerleading practice which he already knows is at Horace Mann school, he sits on the bleachers and listens for a little while to see if anyone is missing - let's say Tiffany is out that day. He already knows who Julie is because she's put a million pictures of herself on her profile.

"Hey, Julie! I'm a friend of Tiffany's. Jeremy crashed his Mustang and he's at the hospital. Tiffany's mom asked me to drive you both there. Hop in, let's go pick her up."

Cue soap opera organ sting!

PumpkinSpider said...

Heyho and hello, just to get you out of that wee paranoid dark mood you seem to have gotten yourself into back there...

... why limit yourself to YouTube?

There's a WHOOOOOLE bunch of weirdness out there just itching to be reviewed and shared with other people [if you reviewed blogs then you could call it... wait for it... "bloggy hell"... you can keep that one, no need to thank me...]

Besides which, what's wrong with just blogging about anything that comes into your head or things that you see or experience? Everyone else does!

Spike Nesmith said...

"Bloggy Hell". That's beautiful! You should use that for when YOUR blog goes public!

love ya! ;)