Thursday, July 19, 2007

The Spike And Dad No-Rage Movie Machine

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Alfred Hitchcock once famously quipped, “the length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder”. How ironic then that this feature-length show about movies be cut short by the diminished bladder capacity of its hosts.

Last week, movie buff Old Spike set some homework – email in your top 10 ‘desert island’ movies. The response was entirely underwhelming, good job that his alone took up half an hour or we’d’ve flipped to elevator music to fill the remaining half hour.

The two discuss their own lists and some that were submitted, including one from Old Spike’s eldest daughter and a few other rum coves who happened to be listening.

Agree? Disagree? Want to submit your list for a future show?

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Saturday, July 14, 2007

The Rage Machine Just Got 400% More Intelligent...

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“Old Spike”, as he was quickly termed by the chatroom last time he was here, is finally back in the sprawling studio complex to deliver his trademark brand of atheistic charm, doubting wit and loud coughs. Give that man a microphone windshield, quick!!

Spike The Younger and Spike The Elder talk about the recent terrorist events at Glasgow airport, where Old Spike and Mrs. Old Spike depart from, and the local fallout from the Al Qaeda Laurel And Hardy unit’s attempt to bring “another nice jihad” to Scotland’s biggest city. They discuss the local Muslim community’s reaction and ridicule Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s beliefs, even in the face of the world’s most famous magician telling it like it is, in magic. Old Spike reveals his favourite Abbot and Costello movie (and drops the F-Bomb in the process) and answers a few more pressing questions from the chatroom.

Also on the agenda, the retired teacher talks about language and the reesnt moov by a weerd orgnizayshn to mayk speling more simpl, and sets next week’s homework: if you were going to be marooned on a desert island, what ten movies would you take with you, and why? Email your list to and we’ll talk about them next week. Old Spike’s a big movie buff and he’ll have his list ready, so he’s very intrigued to see what you choose.

On Old Spike’s nightstand, and given a glowing review, is Richard Dawkins’ “The God Delusion”. Poor Spike Jr’s “A Fair Sheik” joke falls flat, but oh well… tomorrow is another day.

Here’s the Amazon link to the book:

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Monday, July 09, 2007

Guess Who's Coming To Podcast

It's summertime and that can only mean one thing chez Nez - it's a parental invasion! Yep, my mum and dad are back in town for a few weeks to provide endless cups of tea, Law And Order on the telly, free childcare and... drumroll... podcasting!

My dad will be joining me for several episodes of my incredibly well-received webcast/podcast this summer, just as he did over easter. So, if you have any questions or comments for Old Spike, post them here or email them to We'll be live at 8pm on Wednesday nights with the podcast following a day or so afterwards.

Let's hope he doesn't get sick again this time so he can spread his warm atheistic charm, rambling stories and unspoken disappointment in what an utter failure his son is. And, maybe, the promise of some ice cold "The Beast" or a chilly glass of Tobermory will tempt Paul Wheeler back down to the sprawling studio complex for a three-man moan...