Friday, March 16, 2007

Th ike Nesm age Machi - Now with 60% more stuttering!

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OK, so… long story short; technical difficulties. Long story slightly less short, my awesome USB soundcard isn’t quite so awesome. It’s so not-quite-so-awesome that it stutters all over the place. God bless the audience of the live show for sticking around, and if you can stand to listen to it, here’s what to expect:

The army dude who mistook his own ridiculous opinion with the military’s recruitment snobbery by calling gay people “immoral” and why he’s wrong to be such a moron, why moving the clock forward one hour has thrown our hero’s busy life into turmoil, the legal system is in turmoil and Spike refuses to trust it… does the killer of an 8 year old child deserve the death penalty if he, too, has the mind of a child? Lighterly, a store in Spain has banned skinny mannequins, the hot teachers who do the mattress mambo with their students and the British kids’ TV show that just couldn’t tell the truth…

That – and a shedload of stuttering, thanks to outdated technology.

Don't forget, you are always welcome to comment on the show or the content. or, if you have a microphone, leave a voice message here:

Monday, March 05, 2007

I Need Stats... STAT!

When I started doing my incredibly successful webcast/podcast, I was telling Mrs Spike that the software I use for the live show has a little "statistic relay" window that shows me, in real time, how many people are listening. I can see exactly how many people are there, when they drop off (or log on to) the stream with a handy wee graph. This is how the conversation went:

Mrs Spike: Disconnect it.
me: What?
Mrs Spike: The statistical relay.
me: Why?
Mrs Spike: Because you'll just get obsessed and angry when you don't get the results you want.
me: I won't! I'm a professional!

Suffice it to say, she was right - every time the audience dips, even by one, a part of me inside gets red hot. But anyhoo, I decided to check the stats for this blog site. Since my podcast is one of the most ignored in the history of the internet but, remarkably, this blog pulls in some bizarrely high numbers, I thought I'd see what brings people here...

Y'all are weird.

As you can see, just one of those terms includes my name and none about anything I've mentioned in a year or more. So... thanks!

Now for gawd's sake, go listen to the Spike Nesmith Rage Machine podcast. And tell a friend.

Thursday, March 01, 2007


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Another full Rage Machine, beginning with a custom-made intro by listener Maz. She gets the name wrong, but hey… Gordon Brown, the soon-to-be PM of Grrrreat Brrrritain is suggesting that new immigrants be forced to do voluntary work, Spike gives his three cents about immigration and why there’s no point in him becoming a citizen.

Is the term “illegal alien” offensive? Accoring to a senator in Florida… yes. And according to the House Of Lords, “bloody foreigner” is a term of abuse. Spike gets hip to the talk radio jive and coins a well-worn phrase.

Spike takes the odd step of defending teenagers’ repuations (write down the date, it probably won’t happen again)

There’s also death, games and fatness. What’s not to like?

Listen carefully – not only are there several planes wooshing overhead, but it’s painfully obvious that Spike’s smoke alarm needs a new battery, too…